The other night, I was watching the news on television. There was an expert panel discussing some critical issue, and the group was made up of three men and one woman. When the woman wanted to make a point, she would ask,“Can I interrupt?” and wait to see if she could interject and share her thoughts. Sometimes the men would let her and sometimes not.
I watched this and wanted to say to her “Go for it! Don’t wait for permission”. I was quite stunned that this woman, who has been around for a while was playing it small. And, then I was disappointed in her for being a poor role model for women watching her on television.
Being successful (and the word I prefer to use is “brilliant”) requires you to have lots of parts and pieces in place. One essential and easy way to start to shift into your brilliance is to think about the words you use.
How often do you use the word “just”? As in, “just a quick email” or “just a quick call” or “just a quick question”? The word “just” is implying that it’s not essential …and connecting the dots, that your message isn’t important and one step further, that you’re not important.
One phrase that I used to be guilty of (until I became part of this transformational world) was to say “Can I ask you a question?”. I was looking for permission to ask my question. My brother helped me stop doing that by saying “You just did.” And that was that. I couldn’t ask my real question because I had been shut down. Or in other words, you snooze, you lose!
Now, when one of my clients says “Can I ask you a question?” to me, I give her the same response my brother did by telling her “You just did”, and pretty soon, my client stops asking for permission to ask.
In closing, think about the words and phrases you choose. Do they help you show up in your brilliance or are they keeping you small?
Words for you to think about.
Kate Beeders, The Breakthrough Expert and Founder of BRILLIANCE Builders™
Tap into Your Zone of Brilliance and Breakthrough Your Financial Glass Ceiling
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