What To Do When You're Not Getting the Support You Need

All of us are affected by the situation in the Mideast. In essence, it has become a World War, with Israel getting
support from our friends, the democratic, civilized, and free nations worldwide, while our enemies support Hamas.

Every day, the headlines bring more horror of what these barbaric terrorists Hamas are doing. As a result, our stress levels continue to rise as we’re on constant alert for the latest news.

The bottom line is many people don’t feel safe with the uprising of hate and undercurrent or outright antisemitism.

(If you haven’t yet, please check out my recent blog on managing stress for techniques to help.)

One of the biggest concerns I’m hearing now from people is a lack of support from their community and their workplace. As a result, they feel angry, frustrated, frightened and disappointed.

There are many reasons for lack of support; one of the biggest is hate.

Here are three crucial strategies to help individuals who are feeling this isolation:

1. Don’t take things personally because most hate is learned. This shift was massive for me as I felt disappointed with many of my friends’ lack of support during this time. I worry about my family members who live in Israel, those who have been called for reserves to protect Israel, and, of course, the future of the State of Israel.

We’re not born hating anyone. Instead, hate is passed on from generation to generation and based on fear, which is why it’s often hard to eliminate. This hate may be decades or even centuries old. Hate runs deep.

If you ask people why they hate, most don’t even know why. They only know that they “do” hate certain groups of people.

What their family taught them was the foundation for their hate. Then, they continue looking for things (books, politicians, communities, etc.) to reinforce this hate. Unfortunately, this continues to perpetuate with each new generation. And, of course, social media is involved with the rise of antisemitism.

So, I’ve learned that if I take it personally, I do myself a disservice. As that expression goes, “You can’t argue with stupid.” It’s difficult to change someone’s beliefs who doesn’t find a reason to.

In Marshall Rosenberg’s highly esteemed book, “Non-Violent Communication” he does illustrate examples of how to change points of view. Unfortunately, when emotions are flying fast and furious, it can be challenging to do so.

2. Breathe. Frequently and Deeply. Deep breaths help calm your central nervous system, which is on high alert during stressed-out times. It will also help you to respond instead of react, and that’s where your personal power lies.

One of our basic requirements from Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is to feel safe. If you’d like, when you breathe in, hold your breath for a few seconds and silently tell yourself, “I am safe,” before letting that breath out.

3. Focus on and search for things that feel good. From a neuroscience perspective, our mind can only focus and process one thing at a time and only hold one emotion at a time. Your mental health will suffer if you’re constantly stressed out. So, even for a few seconds, if you play with your dog, pet your cat, or smile at a child, it will raise your endorphins and make you feel better. For a few seconds, you will have lowered your stress level.

BONUS: Donate to an organization. That will help you lower your stress level while raising your endorphins as you “give.” I’m recommending these two organizations: https://www.fidf.org and https://ma.cjp.org/. Of course, there are many other organizations to choose from.

And for those of you who are not supportive during this critical time of need, whether due to hate, fear, ignorance, not wanting to get involved, or blind eye, the result is still the same.

To those of you who are supporting us now, your kindness will be remembered for a very long time.

These are a few suggestions to help you. Stay tuned for more to follow. Remember (or learn) to be proud of who you are and don’t hide in fear.

If you’d like to learn personal empowerment techniques, please reach out to learn more about my coaching services and workshops.

Be Brilliant,