I want to share something cool with you that some people do well, and some are embarrassingly bad at it. I remember seeing one woman do it on video and during the process humiliated herself. She cried and cried and cried, mascara running down her face, as she shared her story.
More recently, I attended an event where the host shared all of the bad parts of her childhood in a way that she gave too much detail. It made the audience uncomfortable and praying for her talk to end sooner rather than later. Instead of connecting with her, they were moving away from her which I’m sure is not the reaction she desired.
I’m referring to being authentic and vulnerable. Sometimes, doing this is referred to as sharing your ”shadow”. This is an essential topic in the entrepreneurial world, and people are encouraged to show more of as our community and clients want to know who we are. Sales happen through the “know, like and trust” that the client feels for you.
What you’re doing is showing your community that you’re human, that you’re not perfect, that you’ve made (and continue to make) mistakes. That’s what helps create the connection. People want to know that they can resonate with you and that you will understand where they are now without judgement.
Interestingly enough, in the Corporate World, the exact opposite is taught. It’s all about being perfect, starting with your appearance. That’s why so many have a hard time making the transition from corporate to entrepreneur. They don’t know how to slow down and become “real.” To take that mask off. Perhaps, that’s why the “Imposter Syndrome” is so common in the entrepreneurial world (that’s a topic for another day).
Here are 5 keys to start showing up more authentically as you:
1. Set an intention to be open to show up more as you. This is where it all starts.
2. This isn’t a “True Confession.” You don’t need to share every dirty detail about your life. Did you ever receive dating advice about holding back on some information as this other person doesn’t need to hear on the first date about all of your past relationships? Only share what is relevant and save the back story for a later date.
3. Be on purpose. What you choose to share, have it be for a reason, not merely to go through the “motions.” Often, people share the same story so often that they become immune to it. This means that it is no longer received as a connection but more as “staged” and repels your audience.
4. Ground yourself before you share. You may be sharing something for the first time, and as vulnerable as you will be, you also need to take this action from a place of power.
5. Be aware that not everyone will connect with the real you. That’s ok. The right people will get it and like you. It’s time to learn not to take it personally and understand that everyone is coming from their own story and viewing you through those lenses.
When you do become vulnerable and authentic from your heart, you’ll be surprised at how many people connect with you. As the quote from Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Remember, there’s only one you. I always teach my clients that I don’t want them to become“mini- me’s”. Search for and uncover your brilliance and let it shine!
By being authentic and vulnerable, you are creating potentially a life-long connection. Imagine how your client base and community will increase as a result. Imagine the abundance that can flow into your life!
Kate Beeders, The Breakthrough Expert and Founder of BRILLIANCE Builders™
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