Cali is so much healthier than most dogs her age (which is 14.5 years old) however, she isn’t immune to things, and lately, we’ve had more visits to the Vet and to the Animal Hospital than in the past. It’s scary and frightening until I have answers on how to help her.
She’s been getting a lot of her regular and preventive care from a fabulous holistic Vet who Cali and I adore. When we’re at the traditional animal hospital, there can be a bit of conflict sometimes on the best way to treat my girl. I’ve had to learn a lot of patience in this area.
If you’re like most of us, you weren’t taught in school how to deal with conflict when you were growing up. That’s because our parents and teachers weren’t experts in this subject and didn’t know how could they teach us something that they were still figuring out. So, we learned by example – we mirrored what we saw. Whether it was avoidance, not standing up for yourself, screaming, slamming doors or getting quiet. Luckily, I didn’t come from a family that did most of those things. However, I confess that I did hear “Because we’re your parents “ a lot. The problem is that none of those solutions help us deal with conflict, so we’re still left with the question and probably a stomach-ache to go along with it.
Here is a great strategy that works well when dealing with conflict so you can come out feeling strong and confident:
- Don’t look for one person to be the winner and one to be the loser. Instead, visualize beforehand, what you would like the outcome to look like. I often, picture both people listening to each other, and when the meeting/conversation is over, both people walk away feeling good.
- Remember, that the person on the other side is usually doing their best based on their parameters. In the situation with Cali, it’s Western medicine vs. Eastern medicine. There’s right on both sides, and neither is wrong. I realize that they are coming from their background and training and seeing the solution within their paradigms. They want the best for my girl. I want what’s best for my girl. What I say to myself is “The shining light inside of me honors the shining light inside of you.” as I think of them. It helps remind me of this and not get annoyed with them.
- Trust your intuition, not your ego, when involved in these types of situations. Show up as your brilliant self and get out of your head. Be present. The conversation will go much better.
- Lastly, remember, that we are all equal. Even though someone may have a more significant title or position than you, we are all the same. Don’t let your story playout with you giving away all of your power. Practice confidence exercises to maintain and grow your power. Stand up for what is important to you in a direct, respectful way (no bullying!)
Try this strategy and notice how improved your “conflicts” are.
Learn to ask for what you need.
Need help? We all do, quite frankly. My coaches helped me, and I’d love to help you. If you’re ready for mentorship to breakthrough to your next level, email my team.
Kate Beeders, The Breakthrough Expert and Founder of BRILLIANCE Builders™
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