The Year of Choosing Me - Part 20

Being Busy Is Not A Career Goal

The word “busy” totally annoys me. This time of year, I hear it so much. People looking as if they’re running around with their heads cut off and “happy” seems to be the farthest thing from their mind.

In conversation, you ask, “How are you“? And the typical reply is, “I’m busy.” People are busy with this and busy with that.

Growing up, parents and teachers wanted us to stay busy as they believed it kept us out of trouble. Now, as adults, we go around talking about how busy we are. We do this about our work, and we do this about our home life. In the corporate world, people often interchanged the words so “I’m busy” meant “I’m important so don’t bother me”.

As an overachiever, it used to be all about accomplishing as much as I possibly could each day. That was my comfort zone, and I knew how to work within it.

I’ve learned a lot over the years that I’d rather be in a different place.

I have shifted out of focusing on being busy instead of being a deliberate creator. It’s a much happier place to be. I enjoy my business more and I have more time to play. My schedule allows more time to work “on” my business instead of “in” my business.

There’s no life achievement award for being the “busiest“.

Being busy only means that you have a lot on your plate. It doesn’t mean that these are good things you are focused on accomplishing. Instead, from an outsider’s perspective, it sounds as if you have more than you can handle and are not in control of your situation. Being busy causes stress and overwhelm, which leads to unhappiness.

Have you ever seen anyone talk about how busy they are with a big, huge smile on their face? Instead, when someone says they’re busy, it’s interpreted as “Leave me alone. I have too much going on and don’t know how to manage to get through it.” In other words, instead of being viewed as a positive, being busy can be considered to be a lack of control.

Often, one who is always busy doesn’t have firm boundaries and takes on more than they can handle. They don’t know how to say “no”.

Other times, it’s a bit of “bright shiny object syndrome,” or they don’t want to miss out.

Or, maybe they lack the clarity of what is essential and when they should do it?

All of those reasons have applied to me at various times in my life.

For now, instead of focusing on the reason, shift to focus on making the change.

Don’t get me wrong; being an overachiever helped me accomplish many big, huge dreams that others view as impossible. Having many conversations with others on this journey, I also feel that in some ways, being “un-busy” is a rite of passage. It comes with time and wisdom as we decide what’s most important in our lives.

That means making ourselves the top priority instead of worry about how others view us. A massive sense of freedom happens when you’re able to let go of the “shoulds” that you feel is required.

Instead of telling everyone how busy you are, talk about what you’re excited about and what’s new in your world. Make that your focus instead. Learn to create how you spend each day by doing so deliberately, you’re choosing what’s most important to you. Wouldn’t it be really cool if you asked someone how they are and they replied: “I’m happy“.

Choosing me is the best gift I can give myself.

Choose you.