The Year of Choosing Me – Part 22

A Different Type of Love That’s Here For You Now (from my heart to yours)

Valentine’s Day is almost here and everyone’s posting about romantic love. Me, I’m thinking about a different type of love these days.

Two years ago, I watched my Dad grow older and die. This past year, I watched my Mom grow older and die. Now I watch my 4-legged child, Cali, grow older. Sometimes, I wonder why we can’t all live forever. My heart sinks every time I think of losing Cali next.

Cali is a 15.5-year young Cairn Terrier. This breed is known for more than their looks (and yes, she is beautiful) and their personality. Cali is feisty, tough, and determined. She has more character in one paw than most people have in their entire body. Friends have told me that her eyes are the window to the soul. Everyone who meets her falls in love with her and tells me how special she is.

Her recent glaucoma resulting in the loss of most of her sight hasn’t stopped her. Her recent torn ACL didn’t stop her and some reduced movement hasn’t stopped her either. Thanks to excellent local veterinary services and rehab, I’ve been able to help her recover.

She keeps active. She’s a tough, strong girl.

Everyone I’ve lost recently kept moving forward without letting the aging process stop them. Everyone was a fighter.

I’m the one who’s sad, scared and cries when I think about Cali getting old. Having experienced the loss of my parents and now the possibility of losing my girl sometimes feels too much to bear. Cali’s been with me through life’s ups and downs, in relationships and out of relationships. She is part of my daily life and is my heart. Truthfully, I never in a million years would have thought I’d have this type of attachment to a dog.

Some days, I witness my girl sleeping more and being less active. While on other days, she’s “running” around and playful, and I believe she’ll live forever. Whatever the day, our motto is “happy and healthy.”

Even though I hate seeing my girl get older, I don’t think I’ve ever loved or appreciated her more than I do today.

She is my heart.

The good part of my work with mindset is that I notice when I’m starting to fall down the rabbit hole of worrying about Cali, I’ve been able to pick myself up using the processes I teach. Honestly, without these methods, I’d probably be a total mess unable to keep growing my business! Additionally, I depend on my amazing coaches who support me as I move through and forward on my journey.

One of the best questions I’ve learned to ask myself is: “What is really true about this situation?”

This question helps me get present, centered and re-grounds me. Without this focus, I know it would be easy to feel lost, confused, and scared.

I’ve also become very selective about who I talk to about Cali’s situation. I find people who tell me that “Cali’s lived a good life” insensitive, and I move away from them. Instead, I connect to supportive people who surround me with love and help reinforce appreciating the time left with her.

This self-care enables me to focus on how each day with my girl is very special. I see all of the things she’s able to do, including her simple enjoyment of treats. I see her heart. Most importantly, she is happy and healthy today. And we take one day at a time enjoying every minute it delivers.

I’m sharing these thoughts with you because we all go through times that are difficult, scary, and beyond our control. Perhaps these words will help make your situation less challenging for you. Know that I’m sending you lots of love on those days you most need it.

You are not alone.

Choose you,